We’re looking for letters! Send your relationship question to loveletters@globe.com or fill out this form.
Q. I keep hearing that I look too young and short for my age. I am 23 years old and 5 feet tall. All the women I have come across end up rejecting me because I “look too young for them.” One woman I built a friendship with for four years once said, “If only you were taller, I would have given you a chance.” This was one of the last statements that made me lose hope to get a girlfriend.
I’ve wanted a girlfriend since I was 15. At first I was too shy to even flirt. Then I realized that being shy was not going to get me anywhere close to getting a girlfriend. I decided to break out of my shell and flirt — and the result was always the same. No matter how much I tried, I heard: “You look too young for me,” “You are too short,” “I thought you were 12 years old,” “We are better off being just friends.”
Is there a way around this? Some show interest but then it’s friendship. I’ve never had a relationship before.
SHORT
A. Listen, I’m not going to lie to you. There are many straight women in my life who have told me over the years that they want to date men who are taller than they are. I never really understood that requirement. Maybe that’s because most people are taller than I am.
But actually, there’s more to it than that. When I was younger (college), one of my crushes was on a guy who was probably about your height. I wasn’t the only person who found him to be dreamy. He was very good looking and had an energy about him. Confidence. Humor. A vibe. He did not reciprocate my crush. (He was lovely as a friend, too.)
My point is, so much of this can be about how you see yourself and your reaction to these unfortunate comments. If someone says, “You look too young for me,” you can reply, “Luckily, I’m not.” “You are too short” = “You’d be surprised by what someone my height can do.” I mean, don’t get too gross, but the point is, you can let people know you think they’re missing out on something great. “Suit yourself; I had some pretty great plans for us.”
If the object of your affection is under 5-foot-4, you can tell them that’s the height difference between Tom Holland and Zendaya. They’re on my mind because I just saw a picture of them from the “Dune” premiere and I was like, that’s right, normalize gorgeous tall women being with shorter guys in suits. It looked good.
As soon as someone tells you you’re not enough, let them go. No years (or even months) of wishing and hoping. Too bad for them. Moving on.
MEREDITH
READERS RESPOND:
Looking young is not so good at 23 but will work for you when you are 33. As far as being short, there are tons of short men with complexes about it. Just don’t be one of them. Keep trying to flirt and don’t waste four years on anyone. Keep the train moving and you will eventually find someone.
SUNALSORISES
None of us are perfect, most of us have a “thing” we wish we could change about ourselves, a better job, more money, less baggage, a mental illness, straighter teeth, a smaller nose, clearer skin — the list goes on and on. You’re short, nothing you can do about it, so own it. Look at Kevin Hart, he’s handsome, funny, successful. Be a good guy who happens to be short, embrace it. Your dating pool may be smaller because yes, some women may not want to date a short guy, but there are women who won’t care.
BOSTONSWEETS21
Confidence, humor, intelligence, thoughtfulness and other attractive qualities can also attract women. Make sure you have these traits and that they are visible to women you meet. Work on your appearance in other ways, if needed. Good grooming, fashionable clothing that fits, physical conditioning, etc. will go a long way in upgrading your overall “look.” Good luck. Lots of shorter men have girlfriends. You can too.
FREEADVICEFORYOU
Send your own relationship and dating questions to loveletters@globe.com. Catch new episodes of Meredith Goldstein’s “Love Letters” podcast at loveletters.show or wherever you listen to podcasts. Column and comments are edited and reprinted from boston.com/loveletters.
"short" - Google News
October 28, 2021 at 10:44PM
https://ift.tt/3BiPVnu
Am I too short to get a date? - The Boston Globe
"short" - Google News
https://ift.tt/2SLaFAJ
No comments:
Post a Comment