Dear Annie: I have been dating my boyfriend for two years. We are both in our mid-40s. But I feel as if we are walking in opposite directions on the road of life.
He works two full-time jobs and has several younger children. He has so many responsibilities financially that he is stretched thin. I have never been invited inside his home. I have been outside the house, but that is it. I tell him almost everything, while he keeps most things bottled up. That is the biggest problem with our relationship. I try to discuss this, but he sweeps it under the rug.
First, his daughter hates me. She refuses to meet me. She cries and carries on. She’s 16 years old. So he makes excuses for her. Secondly, I recently found out that his brother and his long-term girlfriend are living there and not helping with any of the household expenses. This bothers me because, until recently, I have more often than not covered his mortgage while paying my own rent and household expenses.
I told him that he needs to talk to the adults in his house because I can’t financially continue to do this. He used stimulus money to get caught up on his mortgage because he was behind (I assumed that he hasn’t paid since I stopped paying it). I told him a year ago that things would be so much easier for us if we lived together. But I feel as though that is not an option. And he says that he needs both jobs for the foreseeable future. This means that I see him roughly an hour a month. And we have a date night maybe once every five months, if he’s able to get the night off. He keeps apologizing for not being able to see me. But every time we talk, he tells me about the bills he is behind on.
Annie Lane writes the Dear Annie advice column.
And I am not sure how much more I can take. I love this man with every fiber of my being. He says he loves me and that I should know how he feels about me and it kills him that he can’t spend too much time with me. Some days I just feel used to help him keep his head above water. How do I get him to see the big picture? Or do I just fade away into the shadows and tell him I can’t do it anymore? -- Lost and In Love
Dear Lost In Love: I’m not sure that he is the one who needs to see the big picture here. That person is you. One hour a month of time spent together is not a relationship. Walk away -- today. This does not sound like a good match. The sooner you leave, the sooner you can find someone who wants to make time for you.
Dear Annie: I hope you will print my response to “Irked,” who had to convert milliliters to teaspoons. Any pharmacy would be glad to provide a dosing spoon, cup or syringe with your prescription. People often use regular spoons instead of more accurate measuring spoons. That’s a mistak because regular teaspoons and tablespoons are not standard. People could over- or underdose themselves. -- Pharmacy Technician in NH
Dear Pharmacy Tech: Thank you for your expert advice. I hope this will help anyone who is confused by dosing sizes.
“Ask Me Anything: A Year of Advice From Dear Annie” is out now! Annie Lane’s debut book -- featuring favorite columns on love, friendship, family and etiquette -- is available as a paperback and e-book. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.
COPYRIGHT 2021 CREATORS.COM
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